Wedding Jitters... Already!

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Sigh, been long since I wrote a blog.

Was totally caught in whirlwind of events that happening in my life at a pace that I can’t keep up with! I’m not complaining though it sounds very much like one here.

What can I say! I’m almost Euphoric for the last couple of months!  Any guesses! :D
Well, it’s just because my parents gave me a go for my longtime boyfriend. I still remember so clearly those days, not long ago when my family was strongly against it! It took just one magical weekend for that world to turn topsy turvy!  

The day next to that magical weekend, my mom was making plans for the wedding. Can you believe that? Believe me, even I couldn’t still now! I just daze thinking of what actually happened around that time. Probably my mom realized I would lead a happier and more fulfilling life if am to live with him. And getting married in four months! I’m already getting cold feet even though I have known him for more than nine long years…

Yes, I was always lost in a fairytale world where I’m The Princess & Him, The Prince Charming of the neighboring country.  We fell in love the moment we set eyes on each other (though that didn’t happen) when we met at a ball (The College). The King and The Queen were totally against it. The Prince already had a hard time wooing the princess and sweeping her off her feet. He completes The Three Tasks (Better Job, Smarter Him & Awesome Lifestyle)! Well, that’s what most parents expect from the guy who gonna marry their daughter. So, the prince completes his tasks with flying colors and claims the princess. All is fine & fun till the wedding dates were out! And wham, I wake up from my fantasy dream to reality.

Yes, I’m gonna be engaged in less than a month. The Big day is fast approaching. I’m thrown into an emotional whirlpool here - I’m are excited, but also worried, anxious and scared all at the same time. It just reminds me of Ron Weasley “ One person can’t feel all that at once, they’d explode “. I feel like am glowing, though I’m not sure if it is from euphoria or summer sweat! :-/

I’m supremely confident that my guy will make everything in his power & beyond to make everything work out easy. Then what is bugging me, you ask? ME! The idea of marriage hasn’t sunk in one bit for me. I’m not sure how I’m gonna handle so much responsibilities? I can hardly find a pair of socks from my stuff, how am I supposed to take care another person or yet few more down the line! The idea is so scary! L

The magnitude of the situation is so massive (Or is it?) that it leaves me so breathless. We are from different family heritage each following different tradition and values. Coordinating the wedding onto a common platform is as such a huge task for us. I’m always having so much doubt in my performing as a dutiful Daughter-In-Law or Wife! Though the constant assurance from Him does help, I can’t overcome it! B’cos all these years there was always someone who will clean up my mess at the end of the day. Now things will change, and gonna be that one person is not only supposed to not screw up but always clean other’s messes. We, humans are creatures of habit, and not that of change, so it is so natural that this frightens me to the core!

It is also arrangements, the photographers, the band, the caterers and wedding hall that make me feel that the biggest part of marriage is the wedding itself. But somehow, that one day is made to be the heart and climax of all that is to come.

So, I have for now decided to make my engagement period to be a time for self reflection, self-refinement and honesty, so that we can become the best partners. All I gotta do is just stop being PARANOID! ;)

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