Wedding Jitters... Already!

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Sigh, been long since I wrote a blog.

Was totally caught in whirlwind of events that happening in my life at a pace that I can’t keep up with! I’m not complaining though it sounds very much like one here.

What can I say! I’m almost Euphoric for the last couple of months!  Any guesses! :D
Well, it’s just because my parents gave me a go for my longtime boyfriend. I still remember so clearly those days, not long ago when my family was strongly against it! It took just one magical weekend for that world to turn topsy turvy!  

The day next to that magical weekend, my mom was making plans for the wedding. Can you believe that? Believe me, even I couldn’t still now! I just daze thinking of what actually happened around that time. Probably my mom realized I would lead a happier and more fulfilling life if am to live with him. And getting married in four months! I’m already getting cold feet even though I have known him for more than nine long years…

Yes, I was always lost in a fairytale world where I’m The Princess & Him, The Prince Charming of the neighboring country.  We fell in love the moment we set eyes on each other (though that didn’t happen) when we met at a ball (The College). The King and The Queen were totally against it. The Prince already had a hard time wooing the princess and sweeping her off her feet. He completes The Three Tasks (Better Job, Smarter Him & Awesome Lifestyle)! Well, that’s what most parents expect from the guy who gonna marry their daughter. So, the prince completes his tasks with flying colors and claims the princess. All is fine & fun till the wedding dates were out! And wham, I wake up from my fantasy dream to reality.

Yes, I’m gonna be engaged in less than a month. The Big day is fast approaching. I’m thrown into an emotional whirlpool here - I’m are excited, but also worried, anxious and scared all at the same time. It just reminds me of Ron Weasley “ One person can’t feel all that at once, they’d explode “. I feel like am glowing, though I’m not sure if it is from euphoria or summer sweat! :-/

I’m supremely confident that my guy will make everything in his power & beyond to make everything work out easy. Then what is bugging me, you ask? ME! The idea of marriage hasn’t sunk in one bit for me. I’m not sure how I’m gonna handle so much responsibilities? I can hardly find a pair of socks from my stuff, how am I supposed to take care another person or yet few more down the line! The idea is so scary! L

The magnitude of the situation is so massive (Or is it?) that it leaves me so breathless. We are from different family heritage each following different tradition and values. Coordinating the wedding onto a common platform is as such a huge task for us. I’m always having so much doubt in my performing as a dutiful Daughter-In-Law or Wife! Though the constant assurance from Him does help, I can’t overcome it! B’cos all these years there was always someone who will clean up my mess at the end of the day. Now things will change, and gonna be that one person is not only supposed to not screw up but always clean other’s messes. We, humans are creatures of habit, and not that of change, so it is so natural that this frightens me to the core!

It is also arrangements, the photographers, the band, the caterers and wedding hall that make me feel that the biggest part of marriage is the wedding itself. But somehow, that one day is made to be the heart and climax of all that is to come.

So, I have for now decided to make my engagement period to be a time for self reflection, self-refinement and honesty, so that we can become the best partners. All I gotta do is just stop being PARANOID! ;)

I'm Screwed!

Friday, March 04, 2011
Yeah, you read the post title right!

Well the reason is my PG degree is been issued. Then why am I being such a drama queen, you ask? The problem is my final mark sheet has wrong entry of marks. How screwed up is that?

All this started when I wanted to change my boring brilliant developer job profile into something interesting & creative. I thought I would fit so well in Branding & Marketing. But I was an Electronics & Communication Engineering graduate who is currently working in IT for Airlines. Go ahead, say it. FYL (Go Figure!)

I needed an entry ticket to move into marketing.  So, I started looking up for diploma courses from few good B schools that provide fast track courses since I could hardly wait to finish it off & get my hands on something creative. I did find one of the top B school providing one year PGDMM (Marketing Management) courses. I enrolled myself. It was a distance learning program and so I had to attend classes every weekend.

The term exams went by & the marks were out. Fret not dear ones. I cleared the external miraculously, but only to find the internal marks (Assignments & Case Studies) were fed wrongly into the system.  The online statement was showing all wrong entries of marks. I reported the discrepancy (Spare the IT jargon, can’t help it! *Eye roll*) to the center staffs. They too found that the register entry for the assignment marks (quite high scores) don’t match with the online ones. Like any other educational institution, they too asked me to escalate the issue to the director, center in charge and who not. I was mailing & calling them almost every week left, right, center! Result - It’s still messed up.

My next semester too came to an end. I freaking passed again. Oh, whoever said “Miracles never happen twice”, Screw you! And I so want to stick my tongue out (:P) to whomever said “Misfortunes never come single”, because the internal marks were properly fed into the database this time. But again I kept on nagging them for the mark change.

I grew tired of it after sometime & it slipped my mind. One fine day last December, my mum said “Hey, didn’t you finish your course 6 months back. When are they giving your degree?” That’s when I realized the unfinished mission of nagging them. Crap. So I re initiated the mission. They said I will be getting the certificates in February & the marks will be changed.

Last week of January, It was my mum again who told, but now with a sterner voice though “When are you planning to collect your degree certificate? You want me to consult an astrologer & see when the stars are just right to get it?” (Somehow my mum was super interested in me finishing off the degree. Well, can’t blame her. My parents paid for this course too. I know, I suck!) I called the center & had to narrate the entire history since the in charge was replaced by a new lady. She sweetly said she will get back to me and I promptly called my mum & conveyed the status.

I received a call from that-same-sweet lady that the B school has sent me my graduation certificate. I was so excited and called my mum and said “Athaaaaa Naaaaaaa Degree Vangiteannnnn” (Mum, I got my degree) only to get a response “What about the wrongly entered marks?”. I was like *Blink* *Blink*. All I could do was look up & say "Enna Koduma Saravanan Ithu".

I called the director again only to find that marks can’t be changed & he very coolly dismissed saying “It happens”. Huh, just you wait. I have plans for you Mr. I sweetly called my mum with big puppy dog eyes & told her what the director said. All she said was “Give his number to me, I will deal this.”

Buhahaha. Well, You asked for it, Now you are screwed Mr. Director. =P

Wipe That Smirk Off Ur Face...

Thursday, March 03, 2011

This blog is dedicated to those fellow developers who look down at documenting. 

It is perhaps a platitude that developers are mere binary thinkers. The only thing that they care to think about is whether the flag is set or not. Does my program compiles successfully or it doesn’t? Is the production system up or crashed? Are the clients satisfied with the code change or they’re not? It’s all just Black & White in their world.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m a developer too, and have been so for the past 5 years. Somehow my fellow developers feel that it’s all bull to document & to follow quality process. They don’t consider it to be what they call as ‘Real Work’. It’s all a waste of time & effort for them. They whine & crib endlessly about the volume of documentation to be done & process to be followed. Simply working mindlessly, figuring out logic based on the functionality alone doesn’t define ‘Real Work’. 

This isn’t even the worst part. They freaking smirk & look down at people who do these stuff. They think documenting & following process don’t require any talent. Well, I agree. Yes, I do. Documentation isn’t rocket science. Then why in the bloody hell can’t you do it when a High Schooler can do a better job in it than you.

Developers are so lazy bummed that they make the company hire technical writers to do this job. Now, this is where I come in. This is why I too feel the pain when people smirk  at Tech writers. Yes, apart from being a developer, I’m now a technical writer for yet another company’s development team. Hah... I know I'm sucha Kick Ass!  B-)

When you develop all you gotta do is figure out the logic, put the right syntax & make sure it works under all cases. But when we do documentation, however, none of these same binary flags being set successfully are present. Instead, measuring the success tend to be more subjective, & require your judgment, rather than simpler logical conditions. We have to make sure that these documents contain sufficient information, so that when you aren’t around, another fellow developer can understand the case & clean up your mess!

Now, let me spell it out for you. Say, you are assigned with a production problem. I know that you will figure out the code that causes the bug.  The more likely changes are the coding was done by someone who is now happily married and vacationing at Hawaii.  Well, let’s face it. Even after finding the cause of the bug, without proper documents you are still in the middle of the freaking desert! Hah, this doesn’t end here. It gets better and better as your oh-so-totally-not-busy onsite manager would’ve have already sniffed known  that you have landed yourself in knee deep of crap that he keeps ignoring your calls. In my experience, I can bet 1000 bucks that these mishaps find their way to you mostly during the holiday season. Beat that!

So, now that I have rested my case on why documents are more important, I personally think that documents prepared by the developer themselves are richer in content & insight than those prepared by the tech writers (Doesn’t apply for tech writers who are developers too. *Wink* *Wink*). For a developer to do no documents is trouble free. For a developer to fill out a Word template for every single deliverable called out by a process is also easy, in the sense that it doesn’t require much judgment.

But to come up with just enough documentation, though… that is hard! This is one reason why CMMI-based process effort frequently goes astray. I wish my quality facilitator reads this blog. It would be awesome. I bet he/she will be super impressed with me that she will let me go without any findings in the next audit. A girl can wish, you know... ;)

P.S: And HELL NO, you don’t look this Delllllllicious when you smirk. Humph.

Color Me Muddy!

Wednesday, March 02, 2011
No offense to people who lurvvvvvvve mud packs & mud baths.

I’m not a person who thoroughly enjoys the revolting relieving experience of being covered in mud, especially on the way to work. And I’m not so excited about the fact that my black dull looking super glossy two wheeler body now looks like a Hyena’s hide (Black & Brown spotted one, that is). Not to mention my so not pedicure legs!

It is always a mystery how in the freaking world the roads of Chennai are always pitted dotted with so many muddy puddles even when the temperature is 33o C. It was 9ish in the morning and I was happily enjoying the sun on my face and driving to work on my pretty little two wheel drive.  I was driving along deep in my own thoughts when a car splashed past. Large sloshes hit the sides of my bike. I braked my bike to inspect the damage, when an damned auto-rickshaw merrily splashed an extra coating of muddy water on my bike & me too this time. My clothes were ruined, for one thing; my confidence defiled, for another; and my bike badly needed a water service, for yet one more.

Many may consider me mean for grinning, seeing yet another guy muddied even badly than me just across the streets. To top it, the spot where he stopped his bike, had water dripping from the fly over above. Huh. :D He looked damned pathetic than me. Okay, so now that my defiled spirit was boosted in confidence seeing the state of a fellow victim, I pulled the bike’s cleaning cloth from under the seat & managed to get rid of the mud paint. Though I couldn’t bring my vehicle to its original state, it now looked reasonably good for the security guards to allow it inside the company’s parking lot.

Couldn’t do much to the mud on the feet though! It had to wait till I reach the company’s ladies room successfully hiding the embarrassment from the sweet security woman who checks our bags for removable data storages. But who the hell cares, bring it on I say to all those mud-splashing-mad-driving-maniacs!
P.S: I couldn’t take a picture of myself getting splashed with mud.  I considered loading the picture of my then muddy two wheeler, but it wasn’t pretty.

Doodl[e H]obby

I'm starting a new blog to feature few of my sketches. Check this blog.

Slipping Through My Fingers All the Time...

Friday, January 28, 2011
Funny how time flies! Here I’m, sitting & pondering where all the time of my past 26 years went? Was at least half of it spent wisely? One lends to indulge in such deep thoughts when you hit the later twenties I guess! Sigh… This is gonna be a long blog.

Whenever I see the photos of me as a baby, I can’t believe it’s been twenty five years since it was taken. Innocent & happy, needs attended to, everybody’s apple of the eye! What about now? I’m definitely still the golden girl of my family. But the innocence & happiness, long lost! More responsible, more level headed, more compromising, more compassionate, more what-not is all that’s left. Yah, that’s right, I’m an adult for some time now.

But the question is, what am I really left with after spending one third of my lifetime?
  • Love is sure in the cards. ;)

Let’s start with my parent’s love for me. This love has always given me the last extra push that one needs most of the times. It has always been there, even before I was born. And it will always be there for years to come. I’m not being sentimental here! I don’t know why, if it is because that am an Aquarian, I always have a wee bit of detachment from all bonds. That’s doesn’t mean am incapable of having emotional bonding! Hell I do. It’s either extremely emotional or extremely detached. This is a reason why my mom always says I’m selfish (Of course, I’m not!).
Thanks to the inter-related marriages that have been happening in the family tree for the past three generations, all my aunts & uncles are my parent’s cousins, niece/nephew (Well, there are always few exception!). Growing up with cousins is something I would wish for my children too. There is always a lot of ‘I got your back’ & ‘Bros before hoes’ feeling in the air. One never gets tired of fun & pranks.
  • In Friends we trust
Friends sure play a major part of our lives. They are more like an extended family. I have a very select few friends. Don’t get me wrong! I’m not socially challenged. I’m a kinda girl who can easily drop a smile & start a random conversation with a complete stranger. But I don’t easily accept people as friends. I always hold people at bay.
So, these handfuls that managed to creep into my heart definitely have my complete trust. Sharing secrets (Even the darkest & embarrassing ones), seeking advice (How to smitten the guy that I’m interested in), helping out (Fashion crisis =P), and the list goes on. I don’t call & text my friends very day. Hell, I don’t even text them weekly. But still somehow the select few know what I am up to & me, them.
The moronic grin thinking of some funny incident with them during office meetings, an occasional nostalgic feel on missing those carefree days, going on & on about the hideous pranks we pulled to my roommates – All these sum to one thing. They will always be a part of my life whether in touch or not!
  •  Respect gained. 
Aye aye Captain – That’s the kinda a respect am talking about! The one that allows a little humor to trickle, the one I get from my siblings, my cousins, my peers, even from some of my friends.  Their belief in my intuition, accepting my judgment, easiness with which they correct me, the light hearted humor that we share – sure shouts respect in my view. This respect is something that has nothing to do with tolerance like the one they give to some slave driving managers.
The respect I always have for my parents are now getting reciprocated. They started seeing me as an adult now, that they starting discussing family issues & asking for suggestions. My sisters & brothers (Includes my sibling, cousins & family friends) look up to me. I’m not being boastful here people. I take pride in telling that ‘I’m king of few trades & Jack of many’. 
I’m dedicating this to my parents, family, and friends. Thanks for everything you have given to me so far without expecting anything back. 

I love you all b’cos you smile at me & you guys mean it! 

"Project Workout" - Not So Working Out

Saturday, January 08, 2011
Leave behind your worry & tear,
Yeah people, it’s the NEW YEAR!
Tons of resolutions made,
Though most of them, we can’t bade.

Resolved to keep in check, the fitness of mine
Hopefully, this plan succeeds fine!
Totally cheered up by few buddies,
Started to dream of my slim curves & goodies.

Registered ourselves in a gym,
Started working out in a whim!
OMG, this stupid unbearable pain,
Just praying, the efforts don’t go in vain.

That damned mirrored room
Reflecting the fat me – A total doom!
Pathetic sight of Pri & me,
With those sticky sweats & tee…

Here I’m venting out
Knowing it’s no good to sit & pout!
So, cheering me up ‘You can do it’!
Grrrrh, the pain, darn it!

Pull yourself together gurl,
Step up, twist & swirl! ;)